|
www.txland.com
|
Features |
|
|
Services |
|
Classified |
|
Advertising |
|
Subscribe
WebUpdat
Renewal |
|
Staff |
Monte D. West,
Publisher
Megan P. West, Assistant Editor
Kim S. West Bookkeeping
Regina Ducharme,
Office Manager
Melanie Hall, Staff Reporter
Brett Bowen, Staff Reporter
936-449-NEWS (6397)
|
|
Contributing
Writers |
|
JJB,
April Sound Upbeat
Sissy Boulware,
I've Been Thinking
Sharon Faison,
Travel
Doc Fennessy,
Walden Happenings
Marty Sanford,
Crusin' Cape Conroe
|
|
Who
We Are |
| |
EDITORIAL COMMENTARY
Wednesday, October 6, 2004
In My Opinion...Not That You Asked
Stuff
from Scot P. Bauer
Americans have a fascination with 'stuff'. We spend our lives running around acquiring 'stuff', whether we need it or not. Our homes are nothing more than a holding cell, a place to secure our stuff while we hurry out to find more stuff.
When we acquire too much stuff, we don't do anything crazy like getting rid of some of it, because that would be unAmerican. We just buy a bigger house. A bigger house represents the ability to make all our current stuff fit, and still have plenty of room left over for more stuff!
Eventually, as we race back and forth from our 'hunting expeditions' with loads of new stuff, our home will reach Maximum Density. At this point, we slowly get forced out of our home by the very stuff we were so accommodating to (how rude of our stuff!)
Closets get overfull. The guest room turns into a storage room, ultimately leaving the room inaccessible. Our two car garage suddenly turns into a one car garage, and then into a no car garage. Our vehicles sit sadly in the rain while all our stuff laughs at their predicament.
Do we now begin a campaign to reduce our quantity of stuff? Absolutely not! What are you...a Communist or something? Americans quickly found a way around the roadblock of too much stuff: ministorage!
Some might wonder what others would put in a ministorage unit. With a house packed full of stuff, what stuff could you survive without immediate access to, yet be willing to pay a monthly fee just to know it exists? Some ministorage users have legitimate needs for things like a boat, jet skis, or maybe a travel trailer. Some people may have summeruse only motorcycles. But what about the truly useless stuff? The stuff that you don't need now, and will never need again in this lifetime, yet cannot part with?
I can tell you exactly what kind of stuff people dump in a mini storage unit. Why? Because I rob them for a living.
Just kidding.
I used to work for a ministorage facility when I was in high school. One of my jobs, after a renter hadn't paid the bill for 3 or 4 months, was to cut the lock off the unit and perform an inventory for a future auction. Here is a short list of what I discovered inside storage units big and small:
Hundreds of stuffed animals.
A broken fish tank, a truck hood, one gutted dishwasher, and a pair of combat boots that had apparently been on fire at some point.
One snow ski, a dozen bald tires, and a 12 ft long, 5 ft tall roll of bubblewrap.
A bright yellow Ferrari, with the keys in it (later determined to be stolen, and no it wouldn't start).
One ceramic rabbit, larger than a monster truck.
Approximately 750 copies of TV guide, all from the 1970s.
A half a ton of crushed Budweiser cans.
40 crates of exceptionally ugly, second hand bathroom faucets.
An older model car, crushed to no more than 6 or 7 inches tall.
The world's largest stash of light green shag carpet (severely water damaged, but not from the storage unit).
An exploded scuba tank.
2 dozen empty fire extinguishers, and a refrigerator WITH FOOD STILL IN IT (and no, there wasn't an outlet in the unit).
A small airplane with its wings removed.
Dirt. 50 lb. bags stacked to the ceiling.
Thousands of 8track tapes, an orange reclining chair adorned with Christmas decorations, and some very detailed maps of Japan.
A microwave oven (circa 1960), a church podium, a rusty car radiator, and a handful of empty shotgun shells.
Cases of empty champagne bottles, dozens of screen doors, and a towed, seeminglyfunctional, World War II 37mm antitank gun. (Maybe he had rodent problems?)
I'd like to continue writing about the problems all YOU people out there have with stuff, but the wife and I are going shopping right now. Foley's is having a sale...and I'm looking for a giant ceramic rabbit. |
Anniversary
announcement
April Sound
Classified
Events
Crusin' Cape
Dobbin Texas
Editorial
Happy
Birthday
History
of Montgomery I've Been Thinking
Entertainment
Legal
Notice
People Focus
Obits
Schools
Sports
Travel
Walden
Happenings
Wedding/Engagement Announcements